Golden Bay

Golden Bay is a scenic part of NZ, up in the north-western corner of the South Island. The aim was to climb at Payne's Ford, but having evidently insulted the weather gods, we totalled a measly 6 routes between showers, 'peaking' at grade 22 (Yep, yet another grade scale). The crag itself is a sort of Shorn Cliff on stereoids. The camping was at the self-styled world renowned climbers site Hangdog two minutes walk away. We snapped an unsnappable Euston T9 alloy pole to our tent. Hurrah. Sarah managed to charm the local engineer to donate some 8mm alu tubing that made for an excellent emergency fix in conjunction with the indispensible, but shrinking, roll of Gaffer tape.

Takeka is a bit like Bishop, a nice hangout for the countless wet days. A sort of hippie drop-out zone, it's rich in organic, GM-free, vegetarian, sandals-only caffs and shops that sell crystals and homeopathic remedies to go with your broadband access. Sarah convinced me to come for a 3h horse riding trek down to a secluded beach, seals guaranteed. I mean, how hard can it be?

Hard. All the girls (needless to say, I was the only male. Well, me and the six horses), laughed knowingly when I tried to get up in the saddle. I let the side down. My horse didn't want to go in the direction I wanted it to. After three hours in the saddle, squashing my erm, happy sack, I've rarely been in such pain. But the beach was nice.

We retreated to the most excellent Mussle Inn for some beers (Golden Goose Lager, brewed in-house) and a massive steak, and listen to the Golden Bay Poetry Society's weekly reading.